I
JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY
ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK
Being
a Teenager is Stressful!
That’s
no surprise to you! You’re probably facing all kinds of new responsibilities
right now. You’re feeling more pressure at school and at home.
You want to be more independent. You may have ideas and opinions that
are not necessarily the same as your parents, your teachers, or even
your friends. And, your body is changing. Being a teenager can be
tough!
Then,
On Top of That, Girls Get Judged
By How They Look
In
magazines, in movies, on T.V., everybody is like ultra-thin. Everywhere
you turn you get messages about how “thin is in” and what’s
“in” keeps getting thinner. Even your friends are comparing
notes and competing about who weighs less. It’s like how you
look is all that matters. The adults in your life tell you, “It’s
what’s inside that counts.” But, many of them are dieting
and working out and trying to be thinner, too.
Everybody
is Focused on Weight.
But, What If It’s Really About Something Else?
Here’s
what we believe at A WEIGH OUT. We believe people focus on weight
and on what they will or won’t eat--- as a way to avoid focusing
on other things that may upset them. At first, focusing on food (or
your weight) may feel safer than focusing all the things around you
that are changing and feel out of your control.
Instead
of Facing Uncomfortable Feelings,
People Focus on Food and Weight
Here’s
an example of what we mean…
Let’s say you’re angry at your best friend because she cancelled
the plans you two had on Saturday night. Instead of focusing on how
angry you are at your friend, or how upset you are about having nothing
to do Saturday night, you start to think about food, or how much you
weigh, or about what diet you’ll start tomorrow morning. As soon
as you start thinking about the food, or weight, or dieting, you’re
no longer focused on how betrayed or hurt you feel because your friend
blew you off. Using food thoughts, or weight thoughts, helps you avoid
thinking about something else.
You
can’t THINK about food, or weight,
or a diet, and FEEL at the very same time
Think
about that for a minute. Do you ever find yourself having a food,
or a weight, or a diet thought when you’re feeling anxious about
something else…like a project that’s due at school, or about
a relationship with someone you really like but you’re not sure
likes you, or when you feel like you’re “not good enough” to do whatever?
This
Coping Strategy Becomes a Habit.
People Choose It Because it works!
It works for a little while. It does help you not focus on feelings
like boredom, or nervousness, or fear, or loneliness, for a little
while. But, then it creates this vicious cycle that makes everything
worse.
The “Emotional Eating” Cycle
Looks Like This
You
have an uncomfortable thought or feeling, something you’d rather
avoid---Automatically, you flip to a food, weight, or diet thought
instead---Maybe you eat something---you feel guilty that you ate something---you
have another food or diet thought in an attempt to avoid the guilt---now
you feel trapped--- and fat---- and out-of-control...and worthless…and
you have more diet and food thoughts…and so on…and so on…
and so on….
Why
Food and Food Thoughts?
Food
can be good company. It can be comfort. It can be fun. It can stop
boredom. It doesn’t judge. Basically, it can take you away from
dealing with all that stuff you don’t want to deal with. Thinking
about eating, or not eating, and thinking about being thin, can help
you avoid thinking about a math test coming up on Monday morning.
Thoughts about food, thoughts about being thin -- all do the same
thing – they take you away from dealing with difficult and uncomfortable
feelings.
Why
Can’t You Stop?
The
relief you get when you use food thoughts or thoughts about being
thin is only temporary. So you have to do it again and again, and
before you know it, it becomes the way you cope with everything.
There’s also some research that says we pick certain foods (sweet
and starchy foods like cookies and ice cream, bread and pastas) because
those foods have a calming effect on us. It’s actually a chemical
effect and it works. And, that may be another reason we keeping doing
it over and over again even when we say we’d rather stop.
DIETING
FACTS
Diets
Don’t Work
Diets
set people up for failure. 98% of people gain back all the weight
back that they lose. Low calorie diets slow down your metabolism (that’s
the way your body burns calories to give you energy) and makes it
easier to gain more weight, even more quickly, when you go off the
diet. Diets confuse feelings of hunger and fullness so your body doesn’t
know what to feel. Restrictive diets set you up for more overeating
and bingeing. (See Connections To Dieting?)
A
Healthy Body = Healthy Food + Healthy Behavior
The
younger you are when you start dieting and the more diets you’ve
been on, the more likely you are to struggle with food and weight
gain in the future. The best way to counteract the effects of damaging
diets is to eat three healthy meals a day, plus healthy snacks, and
to do physical activities that you actually enjoy. It’s amazing
how quickly the body can restore itself to optimal health if given
the chance. And you’re the only one who can give it that chance.
A
Counselor Might Help
When
it comes to learning other ways to deal with uncomfortable feelings,
some young people may need to talk to a professional counselor. With
support, teens can and do learn healthier ways to manage all feelings
that lead to emotional eating and obsessive dieting. It’s O.K.
to ask for help!
BODY
NOTES
Your
Body Image
Emotional
eating is often tied up with self-esteem (how good you feel about
yourself, in general) and how you feel about your body. The worse
you feel about yourself and your body, the more likely you are to
be focused on how thin or fat you think you are, and to think about
eating or dieting. Often, a person’s image of his or her body
is very different from how he or she looks to the rest of the world.
This is called “a distorted body image”. Sometimes people
see themselves as bigger than they really are. Some people see themselves
smaller than they really are.
Healthy
Bodies Come In All Shapes and Sizes
The
latest research says, eating a well-balanced diet and getting plenty
of exercise are what count above all else. You do not have to buy
into the advertising and entertainment industries unrealistic norms
for an ideal body to be healthy, fit and attractive.
No one else is just like you. Your physical self is an amazing and
unique result of your heritage, your genes, your environment, your
past, your activities, your taste and the choices you make every single
day. You have a unique spirit. Your personality is all your own. Why
does your body have to be like everyone else? Think about it. You
get to set the standard for yourself. When you are true to yourself,
you have only yourself to please.
Also, it’s O.K. to speak your mind if someone gives you their
unsolicited opinion about your size and shape. It’s O.K. to tell
that person that your body is your business, and your business alone!
This takes courage! But, hopefully, your friends and family will respect
you for setting personal boundaries and maybe even learn something
from you about “self-care”, how to take good care of yourself.
SO,
WHAT CAN YOU DO
TO BREAK THE CYCLE?
-
Stop
dieting
-
Get
rid of the bathroom scale
(your clothes tell you all you need to know)
-
Start
to notice if/when you’re having food, weight or
dieting thoughts
-
Understand
that food and food thoughts may be your way of coping with uncomfortable
feelings
-
Eat
three balanced meals a day, plus healthy snacks
-
Listen
to your body’s signals about hunger
-
Stop
thinking of any/all foods as either “good” or “bad”
-
Don’t
deny yourself – learn healthy moderation
-
Find
physical activities you enjoy and do them regularly
-
Appreciate
your unique “physical self” and celebrate it
-
If
you’re having a tough time, talk to an adult you trust –
It’s ok to ask for help!
Need
Additional Information
or Support?
If
you are under 18 years of age, and have any interest in our Telephone Seminar, “Food, Feelings and Me”, or are interested in working
with a Teen Coach, please share this information with your parent(s).
Parents may call us to discuss whether our services may be appropriate
for you. Our phone number is (513) 321-4242.
If your parents would like to explore available resources in your
City, See our Resources
page for contact numbers for Eating Disorders Information Centers
all over the United States.
Click here to learn more about When Is
It An Eating Disorder?
For
more information call (513) 321-4242
or email A WEIGH OUT.
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