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Dealing With Deprivation: The Heart of the Work

Posted by Amy Tuttle, RD, LCSW and Karin Kratina, RD, Phd | February 4th, 2012

“You may search the universe for someone more worthy of your love and affection than you are yourself, but such a person does not exist.” ~Buddhist Proverb

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.” ~Mother Teresa

As Valentine’s Day approaches, our focus is on the heart of the work — those difficult moments of eating past comfortable fullness. How we treat ourselves in those moments is important. Our thoughts and actions determine if we stay stuck in an overeat-deprive-lose control–overeat cycle or if we find our way back to a confident and satisfying relationship with food.

Unfortunately, we have been conditioned to believe that depriving ourselves is the way to not only fix the overeating problem but also to prevent it from happening again. And so, if we have eaten past comfortable fullness for emotional reasons or we have “indulged” ourselves with an “unhealthy,” “bad” food, we try to not eat what we love, and we attempt to not respond to our body’s hunger signals.

Fortunately, after too many deprivation-driven overeating episodes, many of us are beginning to realize that

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Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Healthful Eating, Mindful Living | No Comments »

Attuned Exercise

Posted by The Diet Survivor Sisters | February 1st, 2012

As a diet survivor, you’ve learned that attuned eating is the antidote to dieting. But how attuned are you when it comes to moving your body? Do you exercise too much, not enough, or just the right amount for your body and your lifestyle?

If you’re like most diet survivors, at some point exercise was part of the diet mentality for you: a way to burn up calories and lose weight. Exercise may have felt like punishment for eating “bad” foods or for not having the right body size. When you worked out you felt like you were in control, and when you stopped, you probably felt guilty.

The key to attuned exercising is to

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Posted in Body Esteem | No Comments »

Order the Chocolate Cake First?

Posted by Ellen Shuman, Emotional Eating Coach; A Weigh Out | January 28th, 2012

Have you ever felt a pull to got to a particular restaurant, mainly because you wanted to eat a dessert that restaurant serves? I have. All day long I’d think, “I really want that chocolate cake”.

Then, I wasn’t really honest with myself. I’d order and eat a whole meal, the whole time focused on that dessert that I’d get to have after the bread, and the salad, and the main course. Then, when the dishes were being cleared and the waiter would ask if anyone would like to see the dessert menu, I’d casually say, “Sure, I’ll take a look”, all the time knowing I was just a few minutes away from my coveted dessert….the one I had been thinking about all day long as a distraction from my life.

Here’s what I know today. If I have a hankering for a piece of chocolate cake, and acting on that desire is in line with healthy living for me today, then I should get a piece of chocolate cake. Because if I don’t address that desire, it’s a set up for a real binge. On the other hand, if I find myself thinking about chocolate cake because my underlying motivation is distraction from other things going on in my life; some stressor, some feeling or situation I’d rather avoid, then it’s in my best interest to get mindful, recognize without judgment why I’m focused on chocolate cake, and then figure out how to be more emotionally connected and effective in my life.

With either scenario…this question is for anyone who struggles with emotional eating or not. On those occasions when you REALLY want chocolate cake, what do you think would happen to the overall amount of food you consume at such a meal if you ordered and ate the chocolate cake first, since that’s what you really want? Then, after eating the cake, checked in to see if you want to order a whole meal?

Hmmm… honestly, I’ve not yet had the courage to do this in a restaurant when out with friends…I’m still a bit too self conscious. But I’m working toward it. What do you think it would be like to try that, just as an experiment?

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Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in empowering people who are working on emotional and binge eating recovery. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com

Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Healthful Eating, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Food Samples at Costco; An Unexpected Experiment

Posted by Ellen Shuman, Emotional Eating Coach; A Weigh Out | January 24th, 2012

It’s never a good idea to go food shopping when you’re hungry. Everyone with a history of dieting, emotional or binge eating knows that! But yesterday afternoon I had only a small window of time to drive to Costco and get back before I’d get stuck in rush hour traffic. So, I went, hunger and all.

If you have ever shopped at Costco you know it’s possible to eat your weight in food samples, aisle by aisle. Typically, rather than be tempted over and over, again, I’d just ‘say no’ and bypass all. After all, I’m there to shop, not to eat. But yesterday, I was hungry and tempted. So I thought it through, mindfully, and decided I would eat a few select samples…no big deal.

As I shopped, I ate one appetizer-sized veggie egg roll. I ate a shrimp won ton out of a soup sample. It tasted fishy, so I threw away the remaining cup of soup and noodles. I passed several dessert and protein bar samples. My final ‘yes’ was a granola mix with a bit of dried fruit and chocolate bits. Portion-wise, it was maybe three mouthfuls worth.

When I got home I put the groceries away. It was now dinner time. But when I checking in with my hunger level, I noticed I was not hungry. Very interesting. About 30 minutes had passed since I’d eaten the samples…a relatively small amount of food compared to what I would normally eat, for a meal or even sometimes a snack. But 30 minutes was enough time for my brain to get the message that I had eaten enough food to satisfy my hunger. Wow, what an unexpected realization. It took VERY LITTLE food to satisfy me. If I had been home or in a restaurant, I would have prepared, or ordered, and certainly eaten way more food to address my hunger, apparently unnecessarily.

Now, I’m not saying I ate a balanced meal at Costco, but I did learn a satisfying lesson about how little food it takes to quench my hunger.

______________________________

Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in empowering people who are working on emotional and binge eating recovery. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, Vice President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com

Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Healthful Eating, Mindful Living | No Comments »

Can You be Fat and Healthy? York University Study Finds Thin Isn’t Always Best

Posted by Ellen Shuman, Emotional Eating Coach; A Weigh Out | January 19th, 2012

When I do speeches and when I do phone evaluations with potential coaching clients, and I say the health risks of being fat are commonly misrepresented, and steeped in myth and prejudice, I am often challenged…and sometimes not very nicely. But, I make it my business to keep up with the latest research. And we are seeing more and more (and more) studies like the one below.

Just so I am not accused of slanting anything to fit my beliefs, here is the press release announcing the study’s findings, exactly as written by the University that conducted the study.

If you have a doctor, family member, or friend who keeps telling you to lose weight, without any specific reason other than the company line, “We know excess weight is bad for you!”, consider printing this study. Take the study with you to your next visit. Use it to shift the conversation to what you might do to get “healthier”, rather than “thinner”.

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TORONTO, August 15, 2011 – A study out of York University has some refreshing news: Being fat can actually be good for you.

Published in the journal Applied Physiology, Nutrition and Metabolism, the study finds that obese people who are otherwise healthy live just as long as their slim counterparts, and are less likely to die of cardiovascular causes.

“Our findings challenge the idea that all obese individuals need to lose weight,” says lead author Jennifer Kuk, assistant professor in York’s School of Kinesiology & Health Science, Faculty of Health. “Moreover, it’s possible that trying – and failing – to lose weight may be more detrimental than simply staying at an elevated body weight and engaging in a healthy lifestyle that includes physical activity and a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables,” she says.

Kuk’s team looked at 6,000 obese Americans over a 16-year span, comparing their mortality risk with that of lean individuals.

They found that obese individuals who had no (or only mild) physical, psychological or physiological impairments had a higher body weight in early adulthood, were happier with this higher body weight, and had attempted to lose weight less frequently during their lives. However, these individuals were also more likely to be physically active and consume a healthy diet.

Researchers used a newly-developed grading tool, the Edmonton Obesity Staging System (EOSS), which has been found to be more accurate than body mass index (BMI) for identifying who should attempt to lose weight. Developed by University of Alberta researchers, it is modelled on staging systems that classify the extent and severity of other diseases such as cancer, mental illness and heart disease. It offers five stages of obesity based on both traditional physical measurements such as BMI and waist-to-hip ratio, plus clinical measurements that reflect medical conditions often caused or aggravated by obesity (such as diabetes, hypertension and heart disease).

Kuk stresses that in order to determine whether or not they should lose weight, individuals should see a physician to be evaluated using the EOSS criteria.

The study, “Edmonton Obesity Staging System: Association with Weight History and Mortality Risk,” is co-authored by Chris Ardern, Assistant Professor, York University; Timothy S. Church, Director of the Laboratory of Preventive Medicine, Pennington Biomedical Research Center; Arya M. Sharma, Professor of Medicine & Chair in Obesity Research and Management at the University of Alberta, and Scientific Director of the Canadian Obesity Network; Raj Padwal, Associate Professor, University of Alberta; Xuemei Sui, Assistant Professor, University of South Carolina; and Steven N. Blair, Professor, University of South Carolina.

York University is the leading interdisciplinary research and teaching university in Canada. York University is an autonomous, not-for-profit corporation.

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Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in empowering people who are working on emotional and binge eating recovery. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, Vice President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com

Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Body Esteem, Changing our World!, Well Centered | 2 Comments »

How “fat” am I? Do I care?

Posted by Ellen Shuman, Emotional Eating Coach; A Weigh Out | January 15th, 2012

This post was contributed by Rachel, once an A Weigh Out Coaching Client, now a member of our Members’ Circle…

Earlier today I went for my first visit to a chiropractor. I have been having back pain for a week and I decided it was time to do something about it. I had never been to a chiropractor before so I didn’t know what to expect.

After I arrived and was sent into the examining room and the chiropractor started to ask me questions- how did I hurt my back? Does it hurt to bend? What sort of job do I have? How tall am I? What do I weigh?

I could answer all of these questions but the last one. I have no idea how much I weigh. I am not in denial; I just don’t think that knowing what I weigh is very helpful. For me, the scale becomes an obsession. It’s a tool for self-loathing. I discovered a couple of years ago that I was having a dysfunctional relationship with my scale and we divorced. The only time we see each other is during supervised visits (otherwise known as when you get weighed in the doctor’s office and then I don’t look at the scale to see what it has to say about me).

Does this mean I am in denial? I figure I can eat whatever I want? Well yes, I can eat whatever I want. Understanding what I want is really the key- hardly a denial. If I focus on eating for health and maintenance rather than stuffing my emotions down my throat, that is pretty mindful stuff. If I throw the scale or my weight into the mix then I may eat to see some magical number on the scale or beat myself up emotionally if I see a number I don’t like. I want to love myself and care for myself. I can’t do that with a scale.

Over the past year my life has been in a major transition. I went from being in a 25 year challenging marriage to becoming a single parent of teenagers. In my marriage I chose to be controlled and I used food to stifle my feelings. After deciding to end my marriage I initially felt that I would never date or marry again. After about seven months of being celibate I realized that I enjoy relationships and there was no reason not to start one again. I decided, based on my current social situation of the time, that online dating sites would be the best way for me to go about finding potential matches.

With an online dating site you are essentially defining yourself through your photos, your essays and your statistics. I visited half a dozen or so sites. One item was consistent on every site- the statistics. You know- religion, marital status, have kids, want kids, languages spoken, religion, height and …body type. What the heck is that? What is my body type? Well my body is a ‘girl’ type of course. ‘Girl’ isn’t in the list of choices. Generally you have, ‘skinny’, ‘athletic and toned’, ‘fit’, ‘average’, ‘a little extra’, ‘curvy’, ‘overweight’. So what do I chose? I’m not going to hit the scale to determine my weight. And what if I did- would that number answer the question? Ok, so I am a girl- that would make me ‘curvy’ right? But I also hike and ski much of the time. So does that make me ‘fit’? Actually, if I look at myself compared to other women I would say some are smaller and some are bigger. Does that make me ‘average’?

For lack of a better term I chose ‘average’. On one of my first phone calls with a guy prior to going on a date he asked me, ‘Is your body type really ‘average’? I went on a date with one woman who said she was ‘average’ and it turned out she was 100 pounds overweight! I clearly didn’t want to go out with her anymore because she lies!’ Really? How did this guy know she was 100 pounds overweight? Did he weigh her when the date started? Did he carry around a BMI calculator? And more importantly- is weight what really matters in finding a fun date or a future soul mate?

Needless to say, after two dates this man and I went our separate ways. He never did pull out a scale for me, so I was relieved. My expectation was I need to date at least 100 guys. Prior to getting married I only dated a dozen or so guys. I figured I need to really study what is out there- and have some fun of course. Well my plans fizzled when I met a really great guy only three guys into my dating experiences. We’ve been together almost four months and it really has been fun and enjoyable. No need for emotional eating– in this relationship my feelings are out there on the table. One wonderful bit (that I never considered in finding a partner before) is his attitude on women and weight. Here’s what he told me.

‘An overweight woman is not a potential deal breaker. It is not about her weight but how she feels about herself and how that affects her willingness to share herself and her body. If it makes her close off and not share herself because she doesn’t feel good that is the deal breaker. An overweight woman is still a woman and to me a woman’s body is a beautiful thing in and of itself whether thin, average, or overweight. Most women just cannot understand that.’

Lucky for him (and me, Rachel), I understand.

______________________________

Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in empowering people who are working on emotional and binge eating recovery. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, Vice President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com

Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Body Esteem, Healthful Eating, Mindful Living | 1 Comment »

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

Posted by The Diet Survivor Sisters | January 11th, 2012

What do you see when you look in the mirror? Or do you avoid them? Based on the style of our lessons in The Diet Survivor’s Handbook, we invite you to “reflect” on this topic!

Mirrors can become a tool of self-acceptance. Learn how to use your reflection in a way that helps you build a more positive body image.

Ah …the mirror! What do you see when you look at your reflection? Does it lead to self-recrimination or even the next diet? Do you allow yourself to look at yourself in the mirror, or do you just take a quick glance at your face on the way out the door? The mirror can be your friend or enemy. If looking in the mirror leads you to yell at yourself or call yourself names, then it negatively affects your self-esteem. Furthermore, speaking to yourself in a harsh manner creates anxiety, which always puts you at risk of overeating. Using the mirror to berate yourself is never a helpful act.

On the other hand, getting to know yourself through the use of the mirror can help you to build an environment of acceptance that will increase your physical and mental well-being. Knowing how your body looks and letting go of judgments will help you at other times, such as when you see your image reflected back in photos or on video. Being able to look at yourself in the mirror, without self-recrimination, is an important aspect of self-acceptance.

When you look in the mirror and use words such as “disgusting, “too fat,” or “yuck” to describe yourself, you are

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Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Body Esteem | No Comments »

Mindful Emotional Eating?

Posted by Amy Tuttle, RD, LCSW and Karin Kratina, RD, Phd | January 7th, 2012

“Trust develops and builds when I am given a choice (and not, as in dieting, denied it). Trust develops when I choose to make myself comfortable, not miserable, to take care of myself rather than hurt myself.” ~Geneen Roth

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” `Jon Kabat-Zinn

In the moments before or during an emotional eating episode, we often feel out of control and desperate to do something to “just stop it.” We tell ourselves, “I ‘should’ be able to just stop this,” or “There’s no good reason for this.”

With this mindset, it’s easy to understand why we are lured in by the illusion of control that diets promise and why, as a result, we ignore our hunger and avoid certain foods. But most of us know from experience that these “stopping” strategies inevitably backfire, resulting in eating episodes that feel even more out of control.

In these desperate moments, instead of focusing on stopping, what if we shifted

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Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Healthful Eating, Mindful Living | 1 Comment »

State of Georgia; The Shame is on You!

Posted by Ellen Shuman, Emotional Eating Coach; A Weigh Out | January 4th, 2012

ADVOCACY UPDATE: HOW TO GET INVOLVED

My BEDA colleague ,Chevese Turner, has started a petition to “encourage” the Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta to rethink their anti-obesity campaign. After viewing the ads (see the links in the post below), if you are as concerned as we are, please consider signing the petition. Here’s the link to the petition:

http://www.change.org/petitions/childrens-healthcare-of-atlanta-end-the-stop-sugarcoating-campaign

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The State of Georgia is running a Stop Child Obesity campaign. Once again, the focus is all wrong. The focus, the criticism is all about the child’s body, rather than on any unhealthy behaviors that might lead to health risks.

“Shaming” would be word I would use to describe the state’s misguided tactics, aimed at parents. See what you think. You can watch all of the spots on the campaign’s website. Click here http://www.strong4life.com/

Here, you can watch ABC’s coverage of the controversy (after the annoying commercial).

Let us know what you think.

______________________________

Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in empowering people who are working on emotional and binge eating recovery. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, Vice President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com

Posted in Body Esteem, Changing our World! | 4 Comments »

You Can Be a Diet Survivor in 2012

Posted by The Diet Survivor Sisters | January 3rd, 2012

As the New Year begins, there are countless articles, talk shows and interviews that focus on weight loss resolutions for 2012. As an Weigh Out member, you know that diets are not the solution. Still, as people around you talk up the latest weight loss plan, it can be challenging to stay true to your commitment not to diet. Our contributions this month are meant to help support you on your journey to honor your own appetite and overcome any temptations to join in the annual dieting ritual – that typically lasts about 6 weeks. (Remember, if it really worked, people wouldn’t make the same resolution year after year….) This article is based on the lessons from The Diet Survivor’s Handbook.

For your New Year’s resolution, promise yourself never to diet again.

How many times have you resolved to lose weight? This popular New Year’s resolution is made by millions of people at the start of each year. Diet companies seize upon this opportunity to promote their products and bombard the airwaves with commercials. With hope and determination, new diets are started and some pounds are shed. Yet within a month or two, these diets are broken for the vast majority of people, and weight is regained.

As a diet survivor, you now understand that the failure of diets is not your fault. You are learning that the shame you’ve experienced is familiar to practically all dieters because

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Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Healthful Eating | No Comments »

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