Weigh This Instead!

Strategies for Emotional and Binge Eating Recovery Blog

DISCOVERING DIRECTION with limited direction

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We had a visitor in class recently and her experience felt so profound I want to share it with you.

Cybil is a middle aged woman experiencing some life transitions that she neither expected, planned for, or desired.  She is a pretty regular exerciser who has had relationship issues with food and weight for much of her life.  While she does not think of herself as a “dancer” she studied dance for many years in her youth. 

As Cybil was oriented to class the experienced movers offered her guidance: “you can’t make a mistake”,  “your eyes can be open or closed”,  “this time is just for you so play and explore your movement and body”, “you can watch us if that will help you”.  I assured her that she could seek my feedback, if needed. She acknowledged us with a quiet “OK” that felt not quite comfortable though willing to go with the flow of the class.

As the music began to play she closed her eyes and embraced her breath only after watching the others a few moments.  Her “dance” began slowly as she seemed to emerge like a butterfly from a safe and sheltered cocoon.  Her expressions moved between smiles, tears, and frowns.  She moved outward and then inward with body hugs that seemed to contain and soothe herself.  She quickly looked and moved as if she had been participating in the class for sometime.  This process is really so natural, especially in a community in which there is acceptance, love, and support.

After the class, she shared the discovery she would take with her.  The peace she is seeking is within her.  Her healing is dependent not on anything outside, but inside. She stated that she plans to continue this pattern of inward to discover her authentic paths and that felt reassuring to her.

Bravo Cybil. We will cheer you on as you continue your inward journey of body and self discovery and healing.  

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Robin Okun, LMSW, is a coach, therapist, speaker and Founder of Mindful Movement, Ann Arbor, Michigan. Learn more about Robin at http://www.robinokun.com

Message to Disney and BCBS; It’s NOT OK to Stigmatize Overweight Children

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UPDATE: Disney has closed the attraction, as of 2/25/12, “until further notice.” Disney’s “Habit Heroes” website now says, “DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE”.  Today, Disney reached out to BEDA CEO Chevese Turner…said the exhibit closing is “temporary”. Seems they are seeking feedback from organizations that contacted Disney, in protest. Looks like the attraction will be reworked, with our feedback, we hope!  The outcry was loud!  We used our voices and we were heard!  This is a victory, for EVERY BODY!

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I’m trying to imagine myself as the overweight teenager I was, happy to be on a trip to Disney World and Epcot Center. Then, suddenly, I feel blindsided and shamed.

I’m standing in front of an exhibit about teens with bad habits (with names like “Lead Bottom” and “The Glutton”) vs. “Habit Heroes (“Will Power” and “Callie Stenics”).  So, if I’m an overweight teen, it’s assumed I am piggying out, “a glutton” , and the world has judged me innactice and worthy of ridicule?  Should I see myself  as unattractive and misshapen as “Lead Bottom”?

Shocked, Disillusioned, Dismayed, Disheartened, Disappointed, Saddened, Distressed, Disgusted, Heartbroken…It’s Horrifying, Offensive, Stigmatizing, Horrific, Will Promote Bullying of Overweight Kids…

These are just a few of the words my colleagues and I are using to describe our reaction to a joint Disney Corporation and Blue Cross Blue Shield Epcot Exhibit and Online Program called “Habit Heroes”.

BEDA; The Binge Eating Disorder Association (I serve as President this year), in conjunction with ANAD, has just released this Call to Action. Please read on, and if you are concerned, as we are, please choose to take one or more suggested actions. PLEASE!

*Photos included are from the Disney Website

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BEDA & ANAD

 CALL TO ACTION

 

Join BEDA and ANAD to inform the Disney Corporation that it is NOT okay to promote weight stigmatization through its harmful “Habit Heros”campaign

 

Disney Launches New On-line Program

and EPCOT Exhibit Stigmatizing Children & Adults-of-Size

 

Disney's Lead Bottom with Habit Heroes

 

 

This morning BEDA was made aware of a disturbing exhibit at Disney EPCOT and its on-line program (Habit Heros) that frankly, is horrifying. The program was developed with Blue Cross/Blue Shield. More information is provided in the full article, including a reference to the program’s superheros “Will Power” and “Callie Stenics,” from the Orlando Sentinel.   Disney is capitalizing on the “War on Obesity” to shame kids and then offer them every type of fast-food available in their parks. We do not believe food should be demonized, and if the program is going to show brocolli (good guys) shooting hotdogs (bad guys), perhaps some brocolli should be offered along with millions of hotdogs sold in the parks yearly. See the fast-food company affiliations of many of Disney’s board-of-directors. 

Read comments from a blog written by a family doctor specializing in weight management. Its difficult to fathom any professional who has dealt with individuals who are trying to make sense of their issues around weight and/or an eating disorder to see the benefit in this type of programming. This physician obviously sees the harm in weight stigma.   Read an article about a study on weightism showing it as more wide-spread than racism.

What Can You Do?

  Let you voice be heard! Make phone calls, write letters, begin an on-line petition, or contribute your picture to I Stand Against Weight Bullying. See Disney contact information below.   We are providing links, phone numbers, and addresses for your convenience. Please also read Disney’s Harrassment & Discrimination Policies below:  

 The following is directly from Disney’s Harrassment & Discrimination Policies

  The Walt Disney Company’s policy prohibits employees from harassing any other employee, guest or other person in the course of the company’s business for any reason prohibited by law, including, but not limited to, race, religion, color, sex, sexual orientation, national origin, age, marital status, covered veteran status, mental or physical disability, pregnancy, or any other basis prohibited by state or federal law.

  • Email friends. If you have a blog, blog about this

• Post this call to action on Facebook and Twitter

• Reach out to professional organizations and others to ask them to join with us

• Reach out to reporters and news organizations you may have contacts within

 

  Contact Information for Disney:

• Call Epcot Center: 407-824-2222 and register a complaint about Innovations at Epcot and specifically the Habit Heros Exhibit • Call Disney Corporate Headquarters: 407-354-2754 • Write to:

 

Disney Corporate Headquarters: 

Attention: Kristin Nolt Wingard, Senior VP of Public Affair 1375 Buena Vista Drive

Lake Buena Vista, Florida 32830

  • Email Disney’s Communications Dept: TWDC.Corp.Communications@disney.com  

Let Disney know in your communications that you are concerned about the stereotypes and weight stigmatization that this exhibit and online game promotes. Explain how it might make you feel to see this blatant discrimination that would never be tolerated around age, race, gender, or sexual orientation.   This is an opportunity to be heard! 

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BEDA; the Binge Eating Disorder Association, is the national organization focused on increasing prevention, diagnosis and treatment of BED and associated weight stigma. Through outreach, education and resources, BEDA is committed to facilitating awareness, excellence in care, and recovery for those who live with and those who treat binge eating disorder and its associated conditions.

 

Our Values

BEDA provides a community dedicated to helping those with BED and associated weight stigma through the following:

  1. Understanding and Hope
  2. Evidence-based research
  3. Clinically accepted practices
  4. Resources for individuals and families
  5. Educational opportunities for treatment professionals
  6. Advocacy
  7. Cooperation with and empowerment of individuals and organizations to enhance effectiveness
  8. Commitment to equitable treatment and elimination of discrimination in all its forms at all organizational levels and throughout all programs.
  9. Commitment to excellence and to maintaining the membership and public trust
  10. Transparency, integrity and honesty

Our Vision

To create a community where individuals, families, and treatment providers have access to resources to help them, their loved ones, or their clients overcome BED and live healthy, productive lives free from an eating disorder and weight stigma.

  

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Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in empowering people who are working on emotional and binge eating recovery. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com

Freedom to Move…or Not

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For nearly two months I stopped “exercising”. At the same time, I was expending huge amounts of energy outward; physically, as well as emotionally.   Between the stressors of the holidays, unforeseen needs of my children, a studio relocation coupled with an increase in professional opportunities, and a mindless mishap in the kitchen leaving me with 6 stitches in my thumb (even those of us who practice and teach mindfulness have our moments… ouch),  I experienced an emotional and physical fatigue that seemed to overtake my body and my life.  

Of course some people would call these “excuses” for my sedentary lifestyle.  These same folks might call me lazy and unhealthy.  Admittedly the judgment voice in my own head echoed similar criticisms. 

My truth was that my desire, energy and motivation for movement / exercise was replaced with the need for a physical and emotional recovery.

What became clear is that I needed to give myself and my body the freedom to rest and live more quietly. This insight mirrored what my clients were sharing; they appreciate and value the freedom to listen and respond to what their bodies need, even if that means sitting or lying quietly. I was being challenged to integrate this practice into my own life and I am offering you the challenge to do the same: to really learn to listen and honor your body’s messages…all of them.  Learn to notice desire for whatever emerges and begin to act on those; be it rest, stretching, sitting, lying, walking, running, dancing… Let’s keep each other posted on our progress.

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Robin Okun, LMSW, is a coach, therapist, speaker and Founder of Mindful Movement, Ann Arbor, Michigan. Learn more about Robin at http://www.robinokun.com

If You Just Hated Yourself Enough

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“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  ~Rumi

 

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”  ~Buddha

 

“If shame made people thin, there wouldn’t be a fat person in this country, trust me.”  ~Kate Harding

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Have you berated yourself for enjoying a food that you’ve labeled as “bad” and perhaps even called yourself “bad” because you ate it?   Have you forced yourself to wear pants that are too tight and not allowed yourself to feel more physically comfortable by refusing to buy ones that fit?

 

  Have you needed to use food and then afterwards told yourself that you shouldn’t have, that there was no good reason for it, that you’re just gluttonous — or worse?

 

  Bombarded with “shoulds” and shaming by diet and fashion advertisers and well-intentioned health professionals, it’s understandable that we might judge ourselves so harshly. But are the condescending and critical comments about our eating and weight really true? In the long run, has all this shaming and “shoulding” been helpful or harmful? Is it really true that if we just hate ourselves enough, then we’ll finally take better care of ourselves, lose weight, and get healthy?  

What is true? What is true for you? For your body?  

This month of Valentine’s Day, and every day of your precious life, why not consider the power of love? Instead of reacting with cruelty by berating, denying, and shaming yourself when your pants don’t fit or you’ve eaten emotionally, consider responding with the kindness you would show a dear friend. Consider, perhaps, using compassion and tending to what’s physically or emotionally uncomfortable. Consider buying a new pair of pants that fit more comfortably or talking with someone you trust about the issue or feelings that prompted an overeating episode.

  Turning away from fear and shame-promoting messages, and turning toward truth with courage and compassion, ask yourself, “What is true?” Tune out the meanness. Tune into yourself. Listen. What’s needed now? Your heart knows.

 

Affirming Statement: “I respond with love.”

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Nutrition therapists Amy Tuttle, RD, LCSW and Karin Kratina, RD, PhD provide no-diet articles and resources including “Stay Attuned: The E-zine for Nourishing Connections” at their Nourishing Connections website. www.nourishingconnections.com

Loss and Gratitude

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Today, February 11th, was my Dad’s birthday. He died many years ago, suddenly, in his sleep at age 64, with no warning of illness.

We had a difficult father-daughter relationship. He and my mother were very unhappily married. So, I’m very grateful that we had the good fortune to start the healing process together, just 8 months before his death.

The healing started when I was in an inpatient treatment center for my binge eating disorder and he agreed to come to a co-patient week, when you get to ask a family member to join in the recovery work. I never thought he’d come. But my therapist at the center said that was not the point. Asking him, using my voice, was what was most important, regardless of the outcome. We didn’t resolve a lifetime of issues that week, but it was a start. He came and completed the week with me. He had to fight to get the time off from his employer. He told one of the other women I was in treatment with that he would have quit his job, if he had had to, to be there for me. He showed up and did the work, which is something he had never done before.

I last saw my father at another family member’s funeral, just 2 days before my father died. We were at the same cemetery on Long Island where his father was buried 28 eight years prior. Dad had not been back to his father’s grave since the day his father was buried. He and his father also had a strained relationship. Dad went to the main office, got directions to my grandfather’s grave, and we went to pay our respects. Standing at his father’s grave, my Dad said, “My God, he was the same age when he died as I am today.” Two days later he, too, died of complete coronary artery disease (they were both smokers). When I hugged my father goodbye at the cemetery, my last words to him before he drove off were, “I love you”. Remembering that still makes me cry…

February 11th is also the anniversary of my step father’s death. How weird is that? He died on the same day of the year when my father was born. Sylvan, my step dad, was in my life for 34 years. He was a lovely man…never heard him say a bad word about another human being—ever! And he adored my Mom, unconditionally, even when she was being impossibly. He also put up with me; a wicked step child, until I was old enough to recognize that he was truly a gift in my life. I loved him very much!

I just wanted to remember them both today…with appreciation for the lessons I learned and the love I felt in both of those key relationships in my life.

To the two dads in my life…wherever your souls and/or energy are today, I’m thinking of you both, with much love, affection, and gratitude…

Love,

El

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Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in empowering people who are working on emotional and binge eating recovery. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com

Deja Vu; and a Present, too!

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Last night I drove home from the Cincinnati Airport…not once, but twice…once at 8:00pm and a second time at 10:30pm. Here’s what happened.

It had been a stressful trip. I had been in Boston less than 24 hours, caring for my Mom (post 2 strokes), when I got a call from the kennel saying it looked like Maggie, my 14 year old dog, had had a stroke during the night. Her head was tilted, she could not stand up or walk without collapsing. They were on their way with her to her vet. (She’s improving, thank god!)

On the way home from the airport I stopped at the grocery store to pick up some eggs, fresh fruit, and vegetables. I knew my frig was empty and re-entry from these trips can be tough. For me, food shopping on the way home from the airport sets my intention to eat healthfully that night, the next day, and beyond.  When I walked into my house there were two phone messages waiting for me; one from the Airport Police and another from a woman I did not yet know. Both calls were about the same thing. I had walked off the airport long term parking shuttle with someone else’s suitcase, leaving mine on the bus. The Airport Police were summoned. This poor woman whose bag I “stole” had to fill out a police report, and the police kept my suitcase.

Here’s where my night turned around; into something very special. Jennifer, the woman whose bag I took, was absolutely lovely about the whole thing. I felt horrible about how inconvenienced she had been by my spaciness.  But SHE actually felt badly that I had to drive all the way back to the airport to get my bag.  She tried unsuccessfully to get the police to let her take my bag with her, for an exchange, to save me a trip all the way back to Kentucky (the Cincinnati, Ohio, airport is actually over the river in Kentucky).

Jennifer and I met at a Wendy’s parking lot halfway between our homes and I gave her her bag. We talked. By way of explanation, I told her about my trip; about my Mom and my dog. She said she understood. She really understood! She shared that she had just taken in her 95 year old great aunt who has dementia.  She had tears in her eyes as she wished my dog a full recovery. We hugged. It was just one of those times when an interaction with a perfect stranger, under less than ideal circumstances, restores your faith in humankind. Had I taken someone else’s suitcase, the night might have turned out very differently.

I headed back to the airport with a smile on my face, instead of  a head full of self-recrimination. I felt gratitude.  And I thought, “it’s a beautiful night for a drive”. Even the Airport Police made me laugh about my blunder. When the officer handed me my suitcase he smiled and said, ” This had NEVER, EVER happened before”, and winked.

There was a time not so long ago when I would have kicked myself all the way to the airport and back for making a “stupid” mistake. As an emotional eater, I would have binged on my way home and I would have missed out totally on being present for the presents I received last night.

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Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in empowering people who are working on emotional and binge eating recovery. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com

Dealing With Deprivation: The Heart of the Work

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“You may search the universe for someone more worthy of your love and affection than you are yourself, but such a person does not exist.” ~Buddhist Proverb

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.”  ~Mother Teresa

As Valentine’s Day approaches, our focus is on the heart of the work — those difficult moments of eating past comfortable fullness. How we treat ourselves in those moments is important. Our thoughts and actions determine if we stay stuck in an overeat-deprive-lose control–overeat cycle or if we find our way back to a confident and satisfying relationship with food.

Unfortunately, we have been conditioned to believe that depriving ourselves is the way to not only fix the overeating problem but also to prevent it from happening again. And so, if we have eaten past comfortable fullness for emotional reasons or we have “indulged” ourselves with an “unhealthy,” “bad” food, we try to not eat what we love, and we attempt to not respond to our body’s hunger signals.

Fortunately, after too many deprivation-driven overeating episodes, many of us are beginning to realize that

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Attuned Exercise

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As a diet survivor, you’ve learned that attuned eating is the antidote to dieting.  But how attuned are you when it comes to moving your body?  Do you exercise too much, not enough, or just the right amount for your body and your lifestyle?

  If you’re like most diet survivors, at some point exercise was part of the diet mentality for you:  a way to burn up calories and lose weight.  Exercise may have felt like punishment for eating “bad” foods or for not having the right body size.  When you worked out you felt like you were in control, and when you stopped, you probably felt guilty.

  The key to attuned exercising is to

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