Archive for July, 2010

How Do I Learn to Trust Myself?

Saturday, July 31st, 2010

One of the things that strikes me when my clients walk through the door for the first time is how many of them think of themselves as untrustworthy. “If I’m left to my own devices, I would be lazy, binge all day, get nothing done, be mean or inappropriate with people, lose all my friends and my job…..” There is so often this sense that trusting their own heart, their own self, is tantamount to inviting disaster.

As we move along in therapy, one thing often becomes clear: for most of my clients, the problems began when they had to

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Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Body Esteem, Healthful Eating, Mindful Living | 2 Comments »

More Isolated or More Connected?

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

“Does it serve to make you feel more isolated or more connected with all of life?” ~Laurence Boldt, The Tao of Abundance

We begin dieting because we believe it will make us happier, more attractive, more full of joy–more connected with all of life. We spend hours, days, months, even years, trying to reach and hold onto that magic number.

When we reach that magic number, for three minutes, three months, or maybe even three years, we are still focused on calories and weight, desperate to maintain the weight loss.

How connected with all of life are we in these moments of trying to lose weight, of trying to maintain lost weight? If we take a close look, we realize that this desperate focus on calories and weight

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In Touch With the Voids?

Monday, July 26th, 2010

“How many of us are gorging on Big Macs or worse because those foods, cheap and readily available, are filling a hole that everyday access to stunning beauty might more amply fill?” Washington Post Columnist Jennifer LaRue Huget

There are many reason why we (emotional eaters) turn to food.

Do you ever use food because you feel “empty”? Are you consciously or unconsciously using food because your day-to-day life lacks beauty, or love, connection to friends, a significant other, or to a higher power? Do you turn to food because you feel there’s never enough peace of mind, time…or money to do what you want to do?

If you habitually try to fill those voids with food, you might find value in this exercise:

Identify where you feel “a lack” in your life and make a list. Create some time to brainstorm; deliberately find alternative, healthier, more interesting and fulfilling ways to address those voids.

Here are two examples from my life…

Lately, I have been feeling a lack of SPACE in my house. Every kitchen cabinet, file cabinet, drawer and closet feels stuffed to me. Whenever I go to find something, I have to move something else out of the way. This is causing me some frustration and anxiety, especially when I can’t find something I need right then.

So last week I made a decision to declutter my house…one small step at a time. I do not wish to embark on any major whole house or entire room projects right now. That feels too overwhelming. This weekend I started by simply going through two shelves of stationary and notecards (some I had bought, some were gifts, some came in the mail with requests for charitable donations, some dated back to high school and college. Oh My!). I made two boxes of the ones I liked best, packed up a big box of those I know my Mom will appreciate and use, and I recylced the rest. I now have empty shelves in my office closet! It feels great! Piece by piece, drawer by drawer, I pledge to continue to declutter my house and to create SPACE! Space helps me breath! Space helps me feel calm.

A couple of weeks ago I got clear that I really needed some beauty in my life! So I sent out an email to a bunch of friends and said I was planning an afternoon at the Cincinnati Art Museum, followed by dinner in Mt. Adams. I had not been to the Art Museum in almost a decade and it has some amazing collections. My friend Mary was the only taker for the museum. She is a decorator and has an amazing eye, so I was very happy she wanted to join me. We had a lovely afternoon. As we were leaving the museum, we saw there was a wedding about to start; gorgeous floral arangements wheeled past us on carts. We rode down in an elevator with the caterer who was putting together this amazing wedding cake; a true work of art. The bride in her Vera Wang-looking gown were bridal-magazine-cover stunning! The young groom and his groomsmen were very handsome in their tuxodos and tails. It was an afternoon full of some expected and some unexpected beauty… and I had created it simply by initiating the plan. After the museum, a couple of Mary’s friends and another friend of mine met us at the restaurant for dinner. It was a beautiful day and I left the restaurant feeling filled-full in so many ways…not food related…

Willing to share some of your ideas for filling the “voids”. Please Comment below…

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Ellen Shuman is a Life Coach who specializes in emotional and binge eating issues. She is the founder of A Weigh Out & Acoria Eating Disorder Treatment, Vice President of the Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), and Co-Chair of the Academy for Eating Disorders Special Interest Group on “Health at Every Size”, ellen@aweighout.com

Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Healthful Eating, Mindful Living | 3 Comments »

How Do the Italians Do it?

Saturday, July 24th, 2010

A member of our A Weigh Out Circle just sent me this Washington Post “Eat, Drink and Be Healthy” Column by Jennifer LaRue Huget, Italians have a healthier attitude about food than American’s do

I especially identified with the last sentence of her article, “How many of us are gorging on Big Macs or worse because those foods, cheap and readily available, are filling a hole that everyday access to stunning beauty might more amply fill?”

Those of us who struggle with emotional eating often report a “void” that we end up filling with food. Check out my post tomorrow. While we can’t all jet off to Italy when we find ourselves hungry for beauty, I have some other ideas about what we might do when we find ourselves food-focused. And I’d like to hear (and share) your ideas, as well.

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Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Changing our World!, Healthful Eating, Mindful Living | No Comments »

Are We Now Shaming Fat Kids at Major League Ball Games?

Friday, July 23rd, 2010

This week the Baltimore Sun reported that first lady Michelle Obama was at Camden Yards, home of the Baltimore Orioles, to announce that Major League Baseball was joining her campaign to get kids to eat healthier and to exercise at least an hour a day.

“The truth is that lots of kids just are not getting healthy foods and they’re not getting enough exercise,” she told a group of about 40 children brought to the park Tuesday morning to listen to her pitch and participate in a baseball clinic led by major leaguers.

The newpaper also reporter that Obama returned that evening to participate in the first-pitch ceremony with two of the kids, “…then watched the game against the Tampa Bay Rays from one of the private suites — far, presumably, from the Left Field Club Picnic Perch, home of the all-you-can-eat-for-one-price section of the park.”

The next day, Dr. Lizbeth Binks, a clinical psychologist in Baltimire who specializes in PTSD, disaster, trauma and abuse, sent this letter to the editor of the Baltimore Sun (reprinted with Dr. Bink’s permission).

_________________________________________________

Ballpark wrong place to fight obesity By Lizbeth T. Binks, Ph.D.

So the First Lady was at Camden Yards, in partnership with Major League Baseball, to fight childhood obesity. Who thought that one up?

There are controversies: about whether obesity per se should be the focus, or health and healthy living; about how much the war on obesity is really a war on the obese, reflecting all kinds of cultural bias, prejudice, and oppressions; about how – once there is consensus on what the problems and solutions actually are – to help children, in particular, without destroying their joy in their own bodies, stigmatizing them, or promoting eating disorders.

I can’t think of a worse place than the ballpark to act this out.

We go to baseball games to relax, to feel camaraderie and national pride and a sense of belonging, to forget our cares and channel them into root root rooting. We are all the same tribe – or at most, two tribes – and it’s all usually fun and friendly and spirit building.

If you are a fat kid, you can no longer count on that.

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Posted in An End to Emotional Eating & Desperate Dieting, Body Esteem, Changing our World!, Healthful Eating | 1 Comment »

Cooking With Healing Herbs: Basil

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

BASIL IS MOOD FOOD

Throughout history, Basil has been used in many cultures for a wide variety of therapeutic purposes; to calm anxiety, to cure headaches, vertigo, nausea and upset stomaches, along with a whole host of other medicinal claims…

I’m willing to bet that if you start an herb garden, basil is one of the first herbs you’ll plant. The familiar sweet basil with glossy green leaves is most common. And that is the kind of basil that you’ll purchase when you buy dried basil.

Depending upon the type, basil can have a thyme/clove/anise/mint-like flavor with hints of cinnamon. Some of the basils include lettuce leaf, opal, African blue, cinnamon, ruffled,Thai, lemon and spicy globe basil with its tiny, pungent leaves. In India, people herald it as a sacred herb. Basil means “king” in Greek and it is considered the king of herbs in that country.

GROWING BASIL Basil is a sun-loving annual. Whether or not you grow in containers or in the ground, give it plenty of room to grow, at least a foot apart. Plant some next to your tomatoes to repel insects and diseases. Pinch flower heads off as they form (use in cooking) for healthy plants and a longer harvest.

COOKING WITH BASIL This is a delicious accompaniment to grilled chicken, seafood or beef.

TOMATO BASIL SALAD WITH BALSAMIC VINEGAR On a platter, place thickly sliced tomatoes. Drizzle with a bit of extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Sprinkle with chives or chopped green onions, if desired. Or add a sprinkling of garlic powder. Salt and pepper to taste. Sprinkle with fresh chopped basil, or garnish each slice with a whole leaf. Sometimes I’ll sprinkle on shredded low fat Mozzarella.

TOMATO BASIL NAPOLEONS Cut tomatoes into thirds, horizontally. Drizzle the first 2 slices with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Sprinkle each slice with fresh chopped basil. If you like, add a shake of garlic powder or fresh minced garlic and chopped green onions or onion chives. Salt and pepper to taste. Garnish top with basil leaf.

TIPS FROM RITA’S KITCHEN: Use sea salt instead of regular salt. Sea salt contains minerals, and to my palate, has more flavor so I tend to use less.

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Rita Nader Heikenfeld, CCP, CMH, is a Certified Culinary Professional and Certfied Modern Herbalist, educator, author, founding editor of www.Abouteating.com a popular website that showcases her many interests in healthy living.

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In Not Knowing We Learn

Sunday, July 18th, 2010

“Lao Tzu reminds us that the useful part of the pot is not the outer rim that gives it form but the empty space within; the useful part of the house is the empty space within the walls, not the walls themselves.” ~Laurence Boldt, The Tao of Abundance

It is when we remain open that we are best able to learn. It is when our minds are empty that new information, new ideas, can arise. It is with this openness, this emptiness, that new solutions to old concerns have room to blossom.

What a scary concept when applied to our food! How often have we

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Nutrition in Mid Life

Friday, July 16th, 2010

Our bodies are changing throughout our lives, and enjoyable activity and nourishing food can go a long way toward maximizing our energy and vitality as we age. There are a number of issues that emerge as we get older that may require changes in the nutrients we need.

For example, metabolism slows down as we approach midlife; bone mass begins to decrease and bones become more brittle; older women do not convert sunlight into essential Vitamin D as efficiently, nor do they process Vitamin B-12 as well as they did when younger.

When it comes to aging gracefully, the following tips may be helpful:

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Does Shape Matter?

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

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“Love Myself First”

Sunday, July 11th, 2010

Some (not all) of the people I coach who have signficant others have an added stress. In the particular relationships that come to my mind as I write this, most often it’s a husband who wants his wife to be skinny. Wives tell me their husbands say things like, “I just don’t find you attractive at this weight.” Some say ,”I just don’t think it’s healthy to be this overweight”, but the wives still believe it’s mainly about appearance…or at least it feels that way to them.

By encouraging their wives to diet and to write down what they eat, most of these husbands genuinely believe they’re being helpful. I know this to be true because I have had conversations with a few of them (some have accepted invitation to come to a joint coaching session). What I’ve learned is that some of the wives send mixed messages…they allow or encourage their husband’s involvement, thinking it will help them stay on track because they, too, want to be thin. Or they allow it because they feel shame…or they fear they will lose their husband if they don’t agree. Regardless, they often deeply resent the intrusion and the overt or covert messages that they must be thinner for their partners to be attracted to them and to love then completely.

With her permission, I want to share how one of my clients masterfully handled this challenge. She sent the following to me in prep for a coaching session.

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